You know those pizza guys who jump around and spin signs? Well, look no further—your dream job is here, and you can do it for us.

We have an inflatable dinosaur costume, so you can hide your face and avoid explaining the series of life choices that brought you to this point to your friends. You can wear headphones or use the provided boombox and lawn chair. The goal is simple: turn heads, capture drivers’ attention, and point them toward the store.

We have dozens of signs, all ridiculous and fun.

All jokes aside, this is an entry-level, casual, part-time position—perfect for a student or someone with crushing student loans who still thinks there may be a chance for them in life.

The inflatable dinosaur costume uses a fan to stay inflated, so it actually isn’t very hot inside. We primarily need someone on weekends and during rush hour. If you want to come by after school and work for several hours, that’s great. I won’t make you do it in the middle of January or during the rain.

There may also be opportunities to attend local cultural festivals and other events, where you’ll walk around with a sign and advertise the store. On those days, you’ll have to take your headphones out, but these events will be few and far between. You’ll probably have a handler accompanying you and handing out free stones.

I promise they won’t put you on a leash.

Part Time: 1 to 5 days per week
Wage: $18.25

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